BOLD by Garrett Leigh

 

Publisher:               Loose ID                

Published:               August 19, 2014    

ISBN:                     978 1 62300 371 5

Genre:                   Romance, M/M

Book Format:          E-book

Obtained via:          Publisher

Reviewed by:          Helena Stone, helenastone63@gmail.com

Rating:                   4.5

         

Kai is a dancer in a gay club who also stars in Blue Boy Studio’s videos as the slender bottom who enjoys the attention of every top. Recently though things have become a bit more complicated. It is not that Kai doesn’t enjoy his job anymore, he does, but there appears to be something missing. And Kai is not the only one noticing the lack.

Blue Boy Studio’s new owners take an active interest in their stars and Jude recruits Kai’s mentor Cam to help the young man find out what it is he needs. The answer might be new recruit Matthew, although at first glance he isn’t Kai’s type at all.

Kai isn’t convinced but allows himself to be persuaded to investigate all possibilities. It isn’t long before he discovers that maybe Matthew is just what he needs. Kai’s life is about to change in ways he never expected and he’ll need to be bold in order to grasp all the opportunities on offer.

This is the third book in the Blue Boy series but only the second book in this series I’ve read. For some reason I managed to miss Bullet and I know I will have to go back and remedy that situation before too long.

As in the previous book, Bones, Garrett Leigh has given us a multi-layered story. This series is set in the world of porn so the reader is treated to quite a few hot and steamy sex scenes. But, surprising as it may sound, sex is not what these stories are about. These books are about characters who, while working in the industry, are so much more than ‘just’ beautiful sex objects. We get to watch them as they figure out what the rest of their lives look like, who they are and what they might be without the dancing and porn videos.

This book focuses on Kai who is not an easy character to describe or pin down. On the surface he appears confident and in charge but scratch a little bit deeper and you find loneliness and insecurities. Kai is dyslexic and hasn’t finished high school as a result. When he’s encouraged to take exams so he can further his education he doesn’t believe he can do it. His battle with himself and his constant doubts are heartbreaking at times. He doesn’t show it but feels less than good enough due to what he perceives as his stupidity and watching him as he overcomes that prejudice about himself was wonderful.

The developing relationship between Kai and Matthew was mesmerizing. The two young men should be cock-sure and confident with each other. Given their backgrounds and the fact that they’re thrown together to come up with a scene for the next video, you’d expect them to indulge in an almost constant sex fest. Instead they take it easy; indulging in endless and very hot kissing sessions and refusing to take things all the way for reasons Kai can’t explain, even to himself.

Because the whole book was told from Kai’s perspective, Matthew remained a bit of an enigma throughout the story. Under different circumstances I might have resented that. In this book it worked very well though. Once Kai’s insecurities create a problem it is possible to understand him and sympathize with his fears because the reader doesn’t know anything more than Kai does.

The attack Kai falls victim to while dancing in the club isn’t really resolved in this story. Again something that might have upset me. I’ve come to realize though that while these books tell stories that can and do stand on their own, they are very much part of a series. I have no doubt this attack will have a follow up in future titles. Just as the stories of the characters we met in Bullet and Bones are still developing. Since I’m always curious what happens to the characters who have managed to grab me, once the book ends, this continuation of their stories is a wonderful gift.

Garrett Leigh has proven herself to be an author who writes great stories, using beautiful words while never shirking difficult topics or issues. In fact, this author’s books work so well for me because she gives her characters real problems (as opposed to imagined ones) to deal with. This book, in fact the whole series, is a treat for anyone who likes their sexy men with a dose of real and recognisable substance. 

This is an objective review and not an endorsement of this book.

BONES by Garrett Leigh

Publisher:               Loose ID      

Published:              May 6, 2014

ISBN:                     978-1-62300-772-0

Genre:                   LGBTTQ / Contemporary

Book Format:          E-book

Obtained via:          Publisher

Reviewed by:          Helena Stone, helenastone63@gmail.com

Rating:                  4+

This is the second book in the ‘Blue Boy’ series.

Cam is frustrated. His career as a porn star used to bring him satisfaction both physically and emotionally. These days though he just feels empty. Reduced to doing tame and unimaginative scenes with new recruits, Cam can’t find the pleasure and satisfaction anymore. His boss, Jon Kellar, may provide him with an unexpected and not altogether comfortable form of release during their occasional sexual encounters, but there is no warmth, intimacy or connection to be found there. In fact, Jon comes with a dangerous and untrustworthy vibe.

“Porn used to be fun, a way of exploring his sexual identity and having a good time, but these days it seemed like a vise around his soul.”

Cam’s frustration grows until he meets Sasha Tate and his BMX. Sasha is everything Cam has been yearning for, even if he wasn’t aware of it. And handsome, sexy, charming and fun Sasha seems to be as attracted to Cam. They appear to be on a slow but steady path towards something more than friendship when Cam’s chosen profession throws a spanner in the works and Sasha disappears.

When Cam’s world is further rocked by an unimaginable health shock he is close to hitting rock bottom. With everything he thought he was at stake he needs all the friendship, love and understanding he can get his hands on if he’s to deal with all the shit life is throwing at him.

This is the second book I’ve read by Garrett Leigh and let me tell you, this author does not believe in giving her characters an easy time. Cam had my heart broken on several occasions. The reader is almost eased into his pain. What at first appears to be ‘only’ sexual frustration in the form of lots of release without intimacy, slowly turns into an awful lot more. Cam’s loneliness, even while surrounded by people was difficult to read.

“He craved companionship and warmth but somehow, even though his night was sure to end connected to the body of another, he’d never felt more alone.”

Garrett Leigh seems to know what she’s writing about when it comes to suffering, medical battles and somehow surviving both. For the second time she managed to strike a chord with me, evoke feelings I’ve been lucky enough to be able to leave behind me for a while now. The way she describes the pain and fear connected with a potentially fatal illness is almost too accurate for this reader. I had to walk away from this book once or twice. Not because the story didn’t grip me – it did. I had to create some distance was because the story hit too close to home.

I loved the way Cam evolved as a character in this story. While it would have been easy to brush him off as almost shallow when the story starts, there is no way you could think of him in those terms when the story ends. His journey from a distinct but unidentifiable sense of dissatisfaction to realising what it was he’d been looking for all along was spellbinding.

“Cam wanted to weep as he realized this was what he’d been missing...searching for all along – the undeniable sensation of shaking in a man’s arms, of being held like he was that man’s whole world.”

As I said above, this is the second book in a series. I didn’t read the first book, although I now think I may have to in the not too distant future. While I never felt I missed out on vital information and think this book can easily be read and enjoyed on its own, I do believe I might have gotten more out of this book if I’d read ‘Bullet’ first.

If I have one ‘complaint’ about this book it is that it wasn’t longer. Not that the story felt rushed or unfinished but I would have loved to spend some more time with Cam and Sasha.

My final quote is only here because it holds so much meaning and I think it’s a message people should take to hard before they’ve reached that crucial and terrifying point.

“...but for me, confronting my mortality taught me to look beyond the obvious.”

This is an objective review and not an endorsement of this book.

 

ONLY LOVE & AWAKE AND ALIVE by Garrett Leigh

Publisher:  Dreamspinner Press
Published:   11/04/2014
ISBN:  978 1 62798 575 8 / 978 1 62798 576 5
Genre:   Contemporary M/M
Book format:  E-book
Obtained via:    Publisher
Reviewed Helena Stone, helenastone63@gmail.com

Rating: 5

ONLY LOVE:

Thirty-two year old Sergeant Jed Cooper knows his days in the Army are numbered due to a chronic stomach condition when an ambush in Iraq all but destroys his team, leaves him seriously injured and kills his best friend. A lengthy recuperation later, he finds himself back in the hometown he fled years ago, living with his brother Nick and his family. Nick was part of the reason Jed left all those years ago and hasn’t turned into a nicer man since. While Jed likes Nick’s wife Kim and adores the couple’s two daughters he doesn’t think he can stay in town until he moves in with Kim’s brother Max; the lakeside cabin and Max are exactly what Jed needs.

Max has dealt with epilepsy all his life and it isn’t long before the two men form a bond. Looking out for each other while allowing the other the space they need is an ideal situation for both of them.

The bond between Max and Jed grows stronger and deeper by the day until long held secrets force a separation both men detest yet fail to address. When Max next sees Jed, all the soldier’s health issues have caught up with him and it may well be too late to for the two men who have grown to love each other. As friends, family and unexpected brothers in arms gather to be by Jed and Max’s side, the only question still to be answered is whether or not love can be stronger than dead.

This book all but killed my while I was reading it. Max and Jed are wonderful characters to read about; well developed, fully rounded and completely realistic, I found myself in their thrall from the moment they were introduced. Their slow progression from roommates, to friends to so much more was smooth, realistic and beautiful. The secondary characters in ‘Only Love’ made it easier for me to understand Max and Jed and added warmth and realism to their story.

While I don’t want to spoil the ending for anyone who hasn’t read the book, I have to say that I’m grateful that while the author gave us an optimistic ending, she kept it real. Thankfully there are no miracle cures on these pages; ‘just’ two strong yet vulnerable men finding each other and the strength to build a future together.

But none of the above is enough to completely explain the deep and very emotional reaction I had to this story. The reason I had to put this book down on several occasions, despite the need to find out what would happen next, was that this story hit too close to home for me. I won’t go into the details in this review but I do want to say that a lot, if not all of Jed’s medical struggles mirrored things I’ve had to go through in the past. And Max’s helpless bedside vigil gave me a new insight into what those times must have been like for my husband and a renewed appreciation for his endurance.

I can’t thank Garrett Leigh enough for the way in which she managed to combine harsh realism with thoughtful sensitivity. She took two men who might well have been broken by their medical circumstances and showed that the limitations health issues can throw in your path don’t mean you have to stop living, never mind loving. In fact, I don’t think I have the words to express how much reading this book has meant to me.

To avoid any confusion I should add the following. I would have loved this book if I had never been ill in my life. I would challenge any reader to pick up this book and not feel ALL the emotions. If you find yourself in need of a well written, thought provoking, heartbreaking and ultimately uplifting love story, you can’t go wrong with ‘Only Love’. The book will take your breath away.

“For him, Max was the early morning sun, a cool springtime breeze, and a blanket of fresh white snow. His warm eyes were a guiding light in the dark, and the love they held was the only thing Jed would ever need.”

AWAKE AND ALIVE

Awake and alive is a 34 page out-take from ‘Only Love’ and is available as a free read on the publisher’s website. If, like me, you’ve read and loved ‘Only Love’ this is a very welcome and beautiful addition to a wonderful story. Make sure to read it after only love though, you will regret it if you don’t.

Jed has had a surgical procedure to put an end to the unbearable stomach complaints he’s been suffering and is recuperating in the cabin with Max who does what he can to make sure Jed takes it easy and gives himself the time he needs to heal.

Together the two men discover new ways of being together and loving each other while Jed has to start looking at what he wants to do with the rest of his life.

I was very happy with this opportunity to spend a little bit more time with two men I got very attached to over the course of 274 pages. While I completely understand why it wasn’t included in ‘Only Love’ I’m very glad it was made available to the public separately. It gives us a glimpse of the happier times once the heartbreaking events of ‘Only Love’ are a thing of the past. While the ending of ‘Only Love’ didn’t leave me in any doubt about Jed and Max’s happily ever after, it was a joy to be part of it for a short while; a very welcome burst of light after the trauma they had put me through in the main story.