Single vs. Couple
Since Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, I thought I’d blog about the pros and cons of being single or part of a couple. It’s something my best friend Eva and I talk about a lot because she’s single and I’m not.
Eva moved across the country a year ago, coming from California to my neck of the woods. We’ve been friends since middle school, but have lived in different states until her recent move. Now we get together a couple of Friday nights a month at her place, while my husband hangs out with his best bud doing whatever guys do. On these Fridays, Eva and I watch girl-centric movies or go shopping, but we mostly talk. One thing that comes up constantly are the pros and cons of being single or being part of a couple.
One pro of being single? Eva can watch The United States of Tara or Secret Diary of a Call Girl on Showtime without having a spouse nearby, rolling his eyes until he’s banished from the room.
Don’t get me wrong--my husband is a sweetie. He’s fun and funny and smart and interesting. He’s good at fixing things—the computer, the DVD player, the plumbing. He helps my friend out, but he’s not always available when she needs him the way he is for me. A definite negative to being single. Sure, Eva can hire a plumber or an electrician or someone to install her new TV, but that gets expensive and appointments are often inconvenient. Sure, she could learn how to fix this stuff herself, but she isn’t “mechanical” and doesn’t want to be.
On the other hand, Eva just bought a townhouse. She chose it herself, so she got exactly what she wanted. She’s painting and decorating it, all to suit her own taste. No one is questioning the choices she’s making or the expense. Do I envy her? Bigtime. I like making decisions with my husband, but that does require compromise. And sometimes I don’t really feel like compromising.
Over the years, my husband has sometimes been out of work; sometimes I have been. It has been nice for each of us to have a spouse to pay the bills. If I hear a weird noise outside at night, we can investigate it together. When my dad died, my husband was there for me. We’re in things together. A team. I like that.
And I get candy on Valentine’s Day.
But then, so will Eva. Little does she know, there’ll be a heart-shaped box of chocolates on her doorstep this February 14th, courtesy of me! And the following Friday night, I’ll hang out with her and I’ll eat the peanutty chocolate ones she doesn’t like. The same way I do for my husband. He eats the coconut ones I don’t like from the heart-shaped box he gives me every February. Like I said, we’re a team.
So, here’s wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day, good friends, and lots of chocolate! Whether you’re single or part of a couple, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the pros and cons of one situation vs. the other.
Leave a comment for a chance to win a copy of my March release: Dominic, The Lords of Satyr (erotic historical paranormal romance, Kensington Aphrodisia.) One winner will be randomly chosen February 16th (Monday) and announced here. Good luck and don’t forget to check back here to see if you’ve won!
Elizabeth Amber
www.elizabethamber.com
Reviews of Ms. Amber's books:
Raine
27 comments:
Hi Elizabeth,
what a great post. I hope you have a great valentine's day!
Dawn
Owner-LRC
Hi Elizabeth,
I've enjoyed all 3 Lords of Satyr books. Lyon was my favorite! I hope I win Dominic.
Hilda
HildaKnap11@yahoo.com
Hi Elizabeth-
This post is great! I heard a quote on time "The singles are sad and the marrieds are mad". Seems we almost always pine for the things we think are ideal about being 'on the other side of the fence'.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Rachel
I've been married longer than I was ever single, so I've come to appreciate the team aspect to life. There are always moments when I wish the word compromise wasn't part of my daily conversations, but overall I love the sense of love and family I have with my dh and my sons.
Great post. I think I have fallen in love with your books just by the covers :). You are a new author to me but I plan on changing that one very quickly. Thank you so much for blogging here today I extremely enjoyed it. Have a great day.
Hi Dawn,
Many thanks to you to you and Danny for having me here today!
Hilda, you're a sweetie. Glad you're enjoying the satyr novels. Lyon, your favorite, just won sexiest cover of 2008 at the Houston Bay Area RWA JABBIC contest.
Hi Rachel, I think you're right about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. I know I'd be very unhappy to lose my husband, but sometimes the grass does look pretty darn green on my friend's single side. :o)
Cathy, yes! That compromising is sooo annoying sometimes. Especially when my husband won't compromise enough in my direction to suit me. LOL. Thanks for visiting today!
Aloha Elizabeth!
Being single can be a drag especially on days like Valentine's. But you are a great friend to be giving her some chocolate and spending time with her as well. I know how hard it is for my married friends to get some "girltime" in so I'm always appreciative of the time they take out of their busy lives for me. I'm sure your friend feels the same way.
Happy Valentine's Day!!!
And mahalo (thank you) for bringing the Satyrs to life for all of us!
Hi Elizabeth,
What a fun post. It's true there are upsides and downsides to everything :-). I've been married the same length of time I was single (though part of that singledom included childhood). We do actually finish each other's sentences, and actually like the same decor (rather helpful), and much of the same food (though I can't quite get his love of sardines.)
I have to admit I love being married love the team aspect. I love knowing that he is always here for me to do the guy things and just hold my hand when I need it.
Hi, Elizabeth! Great post. I've been with my husband for so long, I barely remember life without him. Yet, truthfully I think I'd be lost without him. He's my other half. Although, I must say sometimes not the better half ;)
Have a happy V-Day! And LOVE the new cover.
~Barbara
Hi, Elizabeth! Great post. I've been with my husband for so long, I barely remember life without him. Yet, truthfully I think I'd be lost without him. He's my other half. Although, I must say sometimes not the better half ;)
Have a happy V-Day! And LOVE the new cover.
~Barbara
I am single and love it. Every day I go to work and hear my co-workers complaining about their spouses or their children. It can get real old real fast. I love being single. You can go where you want, when you want, with no one to tell you not to go. I like being able to go where I want, when I want with no one to tell me no. My closest trip to marriage ended when the guy quit his job and decided that I could support him. Well, I am just old fashioned enough that I said, "No Way" and dumped him real fast. No one mooches off me. I learned my lesson the hard way. I want a man to take care of me. I think that is why I like your stories. The guys are so Alpha.
HI Elizabeth, I liked your post about your friend but is she read this her chocolate isn't going to be a surprise tomarrow is it.
I came her by way of your myspace blog but just to let you know I had difficlutly, the link would not connect and I kept getting a site error report. I finally just had to hand type the web address and only the first part hope the rest of your fans didn't have as much trouble.
Enter me in you contest, I would love a copy of Dominic.
I really thought that I left a post on there earlier, but if not then I will do another. I just wanted to stop by and tell you that I have not had the pleasure of reading your books but I so plan to change that in the very near future. I love the covers.
Hi Elizabeth~
Great post. I have heard really great things about your Satyr books and am looking forward to reading them.
I hope that everyone has a Happy Valentine's Day!!
Hi Elizabeth,
I love your books and I'm dying to read Dominic.
I'm married and as for me some pros and cons are:
Pros: My husband buys me wonderful gifts. Believe or not Valentine's Day is his favorite holiday. He is very romantic. Flowers, candy, makes me dinner, and a great gift (one year he had a Star named after me.) I love having that special someone to share my day with. Vent to when things are bad.
A con for me is I miss just going out with my friends without having to tell someone that I was going out.
I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's!
It's been thirteen years since I've been single so I don't know if I remember any of the cons. But whenever my hubby riles me up I certainly remember the pros, hehe. Love your books! Congrats on winning sexiest cover.
I've never really been single, since I got married right after I turned 18. When my husband goes on a business trip, though, I do enjoy eating whatever and whenever I want. I also am able to get a huge amount of work done and I've found it's much easier to clean up after only one person. I'd never trade, though, the benefits are fantastic. :) Happy Valentine's Day!
Hi Elizabeth, I love the post!! and I LOVE the men of the Satyr series! I cant wait to read Dominic's story!!
Have a HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!
Tracy
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, everyone!
Aloha, Jan! The people who invented Valentine’s Day obviously didn’t consider singles. The cardmakers and candymakers should think about how many people are single. If they came up with a special day to celebrate singledom, that would be cool.
Sharon! Great to see an Aphrodisia author here. Yikes to the sardines. My mom used to eat them, and I was not a fan. And a huge congratulations on the great review in PW on your new historical romance, THE CLUB, Sharon. It sounds wonderful and I love the cover.
Hi Lisa, I so agree. When I take my husband for granted, my single friend makes a point of reminding me how lucky I am. Lovely photo of you and your husband, btw!
Hi Barbara, Good to see you! My husband and I rarely argue, but we had a huge argument about money a week ago. I definitely did not consider him my better half then. But we both felt better after airing things and hearing what we were each thinking. That’s a good way to argue—you’re even better friends afterward. I need to come by your wonderful blog next week!
Frances, I loved being single, too. There are many positives about both sides. I can’t imagine writing about a satyr who insisted that his wife or girlfriend support him financially when we was able to do so himself—especially in the 1800s when men were always the breadwinners. This situation has happened to some women in my family, too, and is still happening to one. It’s fine if that’s the agreement both parties in a couple make, but it’s not fair otherwise. Sorry you had to go through that experience, but sounds like you came out okay. Hugs.
Hi Lori, thanks! I hope you enjoy them if you get a chance. They all stand alone, but if you’re like me, you might prefer to start with Nicholas #1. I like starting at the beginning—I’m a listmaker, too. :o)
Oh, Lisa! Your husband sounds so wonderful. I love that he had a star named after you. I didn’t even know one could do that. Very cool. And very romantic.
Hi Elizabeth, love the post!
Being single I miss having someone to share this day with, but on the other hand I don’t have the pressure to make this day special and memorable for a partner or the possible letdown when the effort is not reciprocated. It is however a great excuse to indulge in lots of chocolate, and to read a hot romance.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Hi MJHM, Thanks for stopping by and I'm glad you're enjoying the satyr books. Congratulations on 13 years. Thirteen has always been my lucky number, especially Friday the 13th.
Cynthya, Yeah, I know what you mean. When my husband goes on a trip, I write in the middle of the night and I run errands I can't seem to get done when he's around. And I appreciate him more when he gets back.
I prefer married over single. I have to confess though that when my husband had a job that took him away on trips, I really, really loved it! I was still always happy to have him back though.
Great post! Dominic sounds great!
LOL, Darlene! Eva did read this, but not until Sunday, after she’d gotten the chocolate (Mrs. Fields…yummmm.) I’m glad you got the link figured out and sorry for the confusion, which was my fault.
Sarabelle, thanks for stopping by! Looks like you did leave a post earlier. I think there’s a slight delay in the post showing up so that the moderators can approve the posts, which is why yours took a bit to appear. Glad you tried again, and I do hope you enjoy the satyr novels if you get a chance. Let me know!
Kytaira, I’m glad to hear you say this. Sometimes I feel a bit guilty that I’m glad to have the house to myself for a few days, but I try to let my husband have it to himself sometimes, by leaving for a few days, too.
Thanks, Amy, I hope you enjoy Dominic if you get a chance to take a look.
When Eva comes over in a little while, I’m going to have her randomly choose a winner from the list. Good luck everyone and thanks again so much for stopping by.
Thanks again to Danny and Dawn of Love Romances & More for having me guest blog—it was a blast to be here!
Hi Everyone,
the lucky winner of a copy of
Dominic is Metonia. Big congrats.
Can you please contact at danny @ loveromancesandmore.com (leave out the spaces) so I can get your information to Elizabeth.
Thanks, Danny. I didn't realize you were going to select the winner, but I'm very glad you did!
Congratulations to Metonia!
Elizabeth
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